Top 10 Weakest Superheroes

Hi everyone it's been a while since I've posted anything. College has kept me quite busy lately so I've been tight on time. For this post I will be looking over the top 10 weakest superheroes of all time. I originally made a list like this but I've decided to redo it this time with lamer and weaker heroes. You'll see a few familiar faces from the first list, but a good number of new weaklings as well.

#10 Howard the Duck



Howard the duck comes from another dimension where ducks evolved to become the prominent species on the planet. One day when fighting an arch enemy of his, Howard was teleported to our world in Cleavland Ohio. Ever since then, Howard the Duck has tried to return back to his home world, but all his attempts have ended in failure.

So lets see why is this hero weak?

Well to start off he's a duck....from another world. He is versed in the art of Quack Fu however, which gives him an edge over normal humans and ducks alike. He could probably hold his own against your average Joe. However put him up against any normal hero with no powers such as Batman or Dare Devil, and he is definitely screwed.



#9 Infectious Lass



Infectious lass...wow. If this was a list of heroes with the worst names of all time she would be at the top.

I can't find too much info on this heroes background. What I do know is that she tried out for the Legion of Superheroes and failed, so you know that she's bad already. Then she ended up joining the Legion of Substitute Heroes, which makes her even worse.

So why is this Superhero weak?

Well she has the power to "infect" people. But apparently she can't aim if her life depended on it and her powers fail constantly. She never really defines what infect means. So for all we know she just gives you a bad case of crabs. Annoying, yes, but life threatening? No, not really, nothing modern medicine can't fix anyway. The fact she couldn't join the Legion of Superheroes means there's definitely something wrong with her.

vs Howard the Duck: Well the fact that she misses quite often, and that her powers merely annoy people, Howard could probably take her. At worse he might get slightly annoyed, and itchy.


#8 Long Dong



Long Dong was one of fourteen freshman that was endowed with a Super power during an explosion at their college campus. That's about it...

Can't say I'm exactly jealous of this guy, a fifteen foot penis is just a bit too big for me. It is indestructible though, so that's a plus I suppose.

So why is this Super Hero weak?

It can't be easy to handle a 15 foot indestructible penis. I mean if you could hit someone with it I'm sure it would do some damage, but it seems cumbersome to wield. Once Long Dongs enemies get around his mighty sword he's pretty much a sitting duck. And while his penis is indestructible the rest of him sure as hell isn't!

vs Howard the Duck: Long John has to get his weapon out of his pants first, then he has to try and hit Howard with it. That would take too long and Howard is a master of Quack Fu with slightly above average reflexes.

vs Infectious Lass: Infectious Lass may not be able to destroy Long Dongs penis, but it's a pretty big target for all the different types of infectious diseases she can throw at him! Especially STDs!


#7 Matter-Eater Lad



A strapping young Lad from the planet Bismoll. He is part of the Legion of Super Heroes and has the ability to eat through any type of matter!

So why is this hero weak?

Well unless your a cannibal, this power basically has no offensive use! In fact writers had trouble incorporating him into the Legion of Super Hereo stories because well...lets face it he was useless. It might serve for some odd situations, but in the end if Matter-Eater Lad is not willing to eat his enemy, how can he possibly hope to defeat anyone?

vs Howard the Duck: Quack fu would make short work of this matter eating fool.

vs Infectious Lass: I'm sure she could give him a nasty case of gum disease, rendering his power pretty much useless. Or mouth herpes! That could work as well.

vs Long Dong: So if Long Dong stuck his long dong into Matter-Eater Lad's mouth would Matter-Eater Lad be able to chew through it? Apparently he can eat through any type of matter. Then again has he ever tried to eat through something that was indestructible? I say it creates a paradox and kills them both. But Long Dong still wins since his power has more offensive use.


#6 Arm Fall-off boy



Arm Fall-off boy is a time traveler from the 30th century. He tried out for the Legion of Superheroes but was rejected.

Why is this hero weak?

Being from the 30th century you would think he would have some totally kick ass technology like Booster Gold does. Nope, all he brought from the 30th century was his prosthetic arms that he can remove at will to beat people with. He looks pretty muscular to say the least, I think he would be a much better hero if he just punched people instead of removing his arms and attempted to use it as a club.

vs Howard the Duck: Well being a martial arts master I'm pretty sure Howard knows some disarming moves (no pun intended). Once Arm-Fall off boy's arms are gone what can he possibly do?

vs Infectious Lass: Infectious Lass could just blast this lame hero with diseases until his arms disintegrated.

vs Long Dong: Long Dong has more reach than Arm-Fall off boy. Also his penis is indestructible, while Arm-Fall off Boy's arms are not.

vs Matter-Eater Lad: Those arms aren't even real looking I'm sure Matter Eater Lad would have no problem eating them. Arm-fall off boy doesn't stand a chance after his arms are gone, so the fight pretty much effectively ends.


#5 Chlorophyll Kid



Chlorophyll Kid fell into a vat of Chlorophyll as an infant. After this unfortunate accident he gained the power to make plants grow really fast. Wow...

So why is the hero weak?

Well he can make plants grow...that's about it. Chlorophyll Kids powers are limited to planets that have life on them, and they can be blocked by an object, any object actually. Oh and he was rejected from the Legion of Superheroes. He has no type of combat training either...

vs Howard the Duck: A few karate chops the kid would be down for the count.

vs Infectious Lass: Her disease powers work on plants as well, she could probably make Chlorophyll kid and his plants sick enough to be unable to fight. Not that the plants could fight in the first place.

vs Long Dong: Long Dong's penis can mow down any tree Chlorophyll Kid springs up, and thus mow down Chlorophyll Kid as well.

vs Matter-Eater Lad: Matter Eater Lad eats the kids trees. The he punches Chlorophyll Kid in the face and wins.

vs Arm-fall off boy: Technically, Arm-fall off boy's arms are prosthetic, which means he can block Chlorophyll Kid's powers. Once he does that he just beat the stuffing out of Chlorophyll Kid with one of his mighty club arms.


4# Brother Power the Geek



Brother Power the Geek is a hippie mannequin who was brought to life after being struck by lighting.
He has "super speed" and "super power" (WTF does that even mean?).

Why is this hero weak?

Well first off, they don't explain what "super power" is. None the less he does have "super speed", but his "super speed" is hardly something to brag about. In the end he is just a quick footed mannequin.

vs Howard the Duck: One blow would send the mannequin flying into a million different pieces. Might take a few minutes to catch Brother Power, but Howard would get him eventually.

vs Infectious Lass: Actually infectious lass can't affect Brother Power because he is non-living. None the less she would be able to take him in hand to hand combat.

vs Long Dong: A mighty dick slap would send Brother Power flying.

vs Matter-Eater Lad: Brother Power is non-living matter, Matter-Eater Lad would simply eat him.

vs Chlorophyll Kid: Brother Power is a damn tree huger, do you really think he would hurt any of Chlorophyll Kid's creations? The Kid wins this one.


#3 Color Kid



Color Kid obtained his unique and useless power while he was helping out a scientist in a lab. He was struck by a beam of colors that the allowed him to transform the color of any object. He was rejected from the Legion of Superheroes

Why is this hero weak?

Well all he can do is change the color composition of an object! The only useful ability of his I've actually seen is that he can temporarily blind his opponents. He has no combat training.

vs Howard the Duck: In hand to hand combat, Howard would ultimately win, even after being blinded.

vs Infectious Lass: A few disease bolts would take care of Color Kid

vs Long Dong: Well color Kid can change the color of the long dong, shortly before being pummeled by it.

vs Matter-Eater Lad: Matter-Eater Lad won't eat Color Kid, but he can still take him in hand to hand combat.

vs Arm-fall off boy: Arm-fall off boy beats color kid unconscious, but not before his costume color changes several times!

vs Chlorophyll Kid: Chlorophyll Kid summons an acorn tree, and uses acorns as a projectiles against Color Kid. Few acorns are lost in the fight, but Chlorophyll Kid ultimately wins.

vs Brother Power: Brother Power is fast enough to evade the color beam...not that it would do much anyway. Then he can use his "super power" to defeat color kid.


#2 Cypher



Wait a hero we might actually recognize? Who is sometimes seen in modern comic books? Impossible how is he on this list? After all Cypher is in the X-men.

So why is this hero weak?

Like all mutants Cypher obtained his ability at birth through mutation. Unlike all the other mutants he was graced with a completely useless power. He has the ability to translate any type of language whether it be computer code, french, or alien. That's it. He has no combat training.

vs Howard the Duck: Howard takes it, at least he can hold his own in a fist fight.

vs Infectious Lass: The lass takes it, whether she uses her powers or not.

vs Long Dong: Long Doing's penis is impervious to the translating powers of Cypher!

vs Matter Eater Lad: Same deal, hand to hand fight Matter-Eater Lad takes it. He might take pity on Cypher and eat him.

vs Arm-fall off boy: Actually Arm-fall off boy could probably take him even without his incredible arm detaching abilities.

vs Chlorophyll Kid: Tough call, but I have to give it to the Chlorophyll Kid. He can probably create poison ivy to irritate Cypher and swing the battle his way.

vs Color Kid: Color Kid's unique ability to blind opponents for a short time swings the battle in his favor.


Now introducing the weakest, and possibly most pathetic Superhero of all time...

































#1 DOORMAN



Little is known about Doorman's past or how he obtained his powers. His sole and single power is the ability to teleport ANYWHERE....as long as it is in a room next door. That's right, this amazing hero has the singular ability to be able to transport you one room over.

Why is this hero the weakest hero off all time?

Look if I was a hero, or even an average person and wanted to get to an inaccessible room, I would blast it open. Or I would find a more capable teleporter like night crawler to help me. Outside of this singular amazing ability door man has no other powers. He has been recently upgraded however so that he can fairy dead souls to Oblivion. This ability hardly helps him in a fight however

vs Howard the Duck: Doorman would teleport, and Howard would probably give up chasing him.

vs Infectious Lass: Doorman would teleport in fear of a potential std. He might be able to escape if they are fighting in an enclosed room with no doors.

vs Long Dong: I'm not sure if even doorman could out teleport the reach of Long Dong's fifteen foot penis.

vs Matter Eater Lad: Well Doorman would try to fight, and realize he can't win. Matter-Eater Lad can probably catch him by simply eating through the walls Doorman teleports through.

vs Arm-fall off boy: Doorman stands no chance against the mighty meaty arms of Arm-fall off boy. He can probably escape from him however.

vs Chlorophyll Kid: I'm not sure if doorman can teleport through trees. None the less, Chlorophyll kid could probably restrain him with roots or vines.

vs Brother Power the Geek: Brother Power is simply too fast for doorman and would take him out within a matter of minutes.

vs Color Kid: Color Kid would blind doorman and make him unable to teleport to the next room.

vs Cypher: This is probably the one battle Cypher can win in hand to hand combat.