Impressions: Bayonetta

So I read a preview of this game a few months back that said this:

So we're Bayonetta in this city and we're kicking monsters and shooting things with our boot guns and all of a sudden this giant statue comes to life we're dodging and our clothes are disappearing and then there's lava everywhere so we run on the skyscrapers and fight angels and we're chased by a tsunami and then we're in a cathedral and there's a dragon coming through the window and we're fighting it and then it lifts off and it's flying and the cathedral is flying and everybody's flying and fighting and shooting and what is going on.

Yeah, that pretty much sums up how awesome this game is. 

Nothing about this game makes any sense. In a good way. The most I can get out of the story is you're a witch and you fight angels. And your boots have guns. Also, Bayonetta's hair is her clothes. And it also transforms into giant doom things. And she has a torture fetish. Also, she's English for some reason. To quote some guy, "This game is 14 kinds of awesome in a pie together... with whipped cream on top." I seriously didn't think it would be so awesome. For some reason I was thinking it couldn't possibly be as crazy as it seems. It most certainly is. The game was created by Hideki Kamiya, the man responsible for Resident Evil, Viewtiful Joe, Devil May Cry, and Okami. The DMC and Viewtiful Joe influence are immediately apparent when playing this game. Bayonetta's fast strikes and slo-mo "witch time" reminded me of Joe, while the crazy hack 'n slash doom combos reminded me of DMC. Yet, somehow, this game is more awesome than both of those combined. It's hard to explain exactly why Bayonetta is so awesome. The stuff you can do is really crazy and fun to look at. It seems like as you progress you get even more crazy fun attack combos. The limited ones in the demo were plenty fine to satisfy me for multiple play-throughs. I mean, you got guns in your hands and on your feet, a sword, and you can pick up enemy weapons. You can use your magic to summon torture devices and use your hair as finishing moves. The combat is fast and oh so much fun. The way the game is presented is confusing as hell, but that's alright because you're so dazzled and wondering why the hell everything is so epic that it doesn't even matter. Here's a quick run-through of the demo:

• It starts with a cutscene that states "In a world of light and dark, where perception is reality..." The most vague statement ever. Some vague stuff is explained vaguely and then the game begins.
• Your falling through who the hell knows, some purple vortex place, on a ruined clock tower and some bird/angles come to fight you. You kill them and then there's a giant doom thing that lands and stuff blows up and you fly off and onto another falling thing. You kill some more stuff and the giant thing returns and everything blows up, then you're on a train. 
• Bayonetta wakes up on a train and there's some phantom voice/ghost. You get off and are apparently in "paradise." You make your way to a courtyard where you fight some more angelbirds than a giant god knows what comes up from the ground and you beat on it until your hair turns into a dragon and eats the thing alive. Then you pick up it's giant death ax and use it on some guys in the next room, providing a particularly gruesome death. You make your way to a bridge where a giant thing climbs up and yanks the bridge out from under you but you're still standing on it and it's beating the bridge against the roof until you hurt it too much then it chucks you and the bridge far away and the demo ends.

Needless to say, Bayonetta will me my first purchase of 2010 when it comes out January 5th. It's good to see the guys from 'ole Clover Studios are still awesome. Please turn your attention to these crazy trailers to get hyped.