Xbox Live Trials Could Have Changed Gaming for the Better

The year was 2006, about six months after the launch of the Xbox 360. I had gotten mine just in time for summer and was looking for something to play. None of the launch games really caught my eye, though the newly-released Ovlivion was on my list of games to get. Before that, though, I hooked up my system, logged into Xbox Live, and checked out the new and improved Xbox Live Arcade. Microsoft had dabbled with downloadable arcade games on the original Xbox, even before Nintendo's Virtual Console was a thing. At this point, though, XBLA only had a few games including some of the arcade titles from the original Xbox, a free copy of Hexic, and Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved. I'd heard some good things about Geometry Wars leading up to the 360's launch and had a passing interest in it. When I navigated to the game page, I was met with a surprise: I could try the game for free. I could try all the games for free.

The Xbox One Makes Me Want to Give Up on Video Games

I've been trying to express my feelings on the Xbox One for quite some time, and I've gone through maybe three or four different iterations. None of them felt right. My goal was not to sound like a whiny bitch, but you know what? Fuck that. I'm going to be a whiny bitch because that's what the Xbox One deserves. See, the Xbox One is a piece of shit. It's the worst console I've ever owned, and probably the worst ever made. Worse than the 3DO or the Virtual Boy or even the Gizmondo, which I'm pretty sure was a scam. Every time I try to play the Xbox One I'm filled with rage followed by a profound sadness. It's almost like the five stages of grief, where I start out in disbelief that a video game system can be so much of a hassle, then I'm pleading with the forces that be to make the damn thing work how I want it to, then I finally accept that it just sucks and give up. I used to own an Xbox and an Xbox 360. I loved them! I want to love the Xbox One too, but I just can’t.

The worst review ever written

So Metroid: Other M comes out this upcoming Tuesday and today was review day. A lot of reviews have gone up today, and currently the game has a metascore of 80. Scores range from 6.3 to 9.5. Basically, it seems like a love it or hate it game. One review (thankfully) not factored in was that of G4's Abbie Heppe. It's the biggest joke of a review I've ever read in my life. Seriously, she just downright gives woman a bad name. It's just absolutely ridiculous how subjective and biased it is. But the worst part is that it was written by a woman and complains how Samus isn't portrayed to her liking. Well, just check out the video review below and you'll see what I mean.

A comment on the BioShock review that wouldn't fit in the comment box

I agree that their are a lot of flaws in the game (like crappy controls in shooting) and such. But there was also something about it that people really loved. I personally never beat the game because I lost interest in it, with its irritating repetition, witch says something about the game on its own, but I have a feeling that we are going to be seeing these kinds of trends of 'ehhh' games getting way to much recognition. Like, say, all of the Call of Duty Modern Warfare games. People, who aren't really gamers or even play games much, find a game that is extraordinarily simple to play and tell all their friends, who usually don't play games either. They all go out and buy this game and it gets great ratings and sales from the people who usually don't play games. And the makers of the game sas to themselves "Well, I don't know what we did right, but apparently people like it, so lets make our next 5 games just like it." So they stop foccusing on certain parts of the game and just foccus on the parts that people responded well to. Untill they get to the point where the people playing the game don't even care about the story and only play online (modern warfare). I'm not saying that Modern Warfare 2 online isn't fun, because that would be a blatant lie, it is a lot of fun, but that is because it is a simple shooter that has been polished untill it competes with the sun for shine. Basically what I am saying that these "amazing" games arent that amazing, they are just picked up by people who dont usually play games, so the sales go way up. WOW that was a long comment.

VGA's? More like VGC's!

What the snarf has happened to the Spike Video Game Awards? Not that anybody really ever took them seriously anyway, but still! Honestly, I'm not sure exactly why this awards show was created. I'm thinking it's a publicity stunt because a lot of the nominations are a joke. But this year, it's all gotten out of hand. Spike is acting more like this is a conference than an award show, probably in an attempt to gain more viewers. Instead of focusing on bad awards presented by big name celebrities acting like idiots, they've secured themselves some big name game announcements instead. It's starting look like E3, and it's starting to piss me off.

You have been decieved!

I went on a quest the other day. A quest to discover the ultimate web browser. It is not Internet Explorer or Firefox. You have been lied to. Despite rave reviews and whatnot for the newest version of Firefox, I have discovered something far superior. After using Firefox for years, I finally got fed up. Its frequent crashing was getting on my last nerver. In despiration I turned to Safari. Safari is nice, but I'm not crazy about the layout and it's a little lacking in the feature department. So, I payed a visit to download.com and looked up their highest rated browsers. Of course Firefox 3 was up there along with Safari, but then I found something rated even higher. It's been around longer than both of those two browsers combined (probably, I dont really know that). I'm talking about the latest version of Opera- 9.5. Opera must be doing something right to go through 9.5 versions. And so I though why not try it. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Guess what? It's fantastic. I don't know why more people don't use Opera. It has all the features of your favorite browser, but does them better. It's faster and more feature rich, too. Let me give you an example of one of the extras. When you first open Opera it will take you to speed dial. Speed dial is a blank page with nine empty thumbnails. These thumbnails can be edited to take you to your nine favorite websites. This makes things convenient because speed dial opens with a new tab. Say I want to go to Blogger. I just open a new tab and click the speed dial thumb nail. Of course, I could also access Blogger from my favorites menu or the favorites toolbar. Opera also comes with panels. Panels let you browse your bookmarks and organize them, write notes and send them to people, manage your e-mail, view your active downloads, search, access page info, manage windows, view your history, and access widgets that run within your browser or anywhere on your desktop as long as Opera is open. Opera also has extensive customization options. Not only can you completely customize every toolbar and button, but you can customize search engines, and skins as well. That's just a short list of features that Opera has. The best part? Its faster and more stable. I guarentee it does everything your current browser does better and then some. Try it. You'll never go back.

Rant: Sony, what next?

Sony has won. Toshiba has given up and Blu-ray has emerged victorious. Now what? Well, it's a step in the right direction for Sony... I guess. Now that their HD disk format has prevailed, Sony has eliminated competition and consumers are forced to buy Blu-ray if they want HD movies. The first thing Sony needs to do now is lower the cost of their Blu-ray players. They're still outrageously expensive, though they'll come down in price eventually. However, Blu-ray, in its current state, is only appealing to those who absolutely need an HD player. The rest of us will continue to buy standard DVDs until they go out of production or the price of Blu-ray players lowers significantly.

Many may think this is a blow to Microsoft. Not so. For one, no body really bought the add on HD DVD player for the 360. Those who have an HD DVD playing computers probably didn't pay extra for it. Also, a lot of people forget that just because Microsoft supported HD DVD they do not produce the disks or their players. Microsoft has said that they've moved on and that they'll support Blu-ray. This benefits both companies. If Microsoft were to allow a Blu-ray add-on for the 360, sales would skyrocket. Even more people would buy Xboxes and less PS3s because the Xbox is still cheaper. There would be even less of a reason to buy a PS3. Sony, however, would benefit as well because the revenue of the Blu-ray player would go to Sony. That ends up being a weird situation for Sony because it both benefits and hurts them. All this is, of course, hypothetical because no one has made any plans to support Blu-ray on the Xbox. Microsoft was simply stating that they're negotiating with Sony to include Blu-ray players in PCs. In any case, the real looser here is Toshiba.

So where does that leave Sony? It leaves them right where they're at. Though Sony has won the next gen disk format war, they've only achieved victory over Toshiba. As far as games go, they're still in trouble. If Sony's games division wants to survive to see the PS4, then they need to lower cost and increase the number of AAA exclusive games. Right now, the Xbox is still cheaper and still has better exclusives. Games like MGS4, releasing this June, and Resistance 2 this November may change things, but I doubt it. I think Sony is slowly loosing their casual gamers who are opting for the cheaper Xbox. Sony will always have its fanboys, but I don't think that'll be enough to keep the PS3 afloat if Sony doesn't start to rethink things fast.

Brawl Rant 2.0

Well, we now know everything. So what do I think? Well, feelings are mixed. I will say that I am quite pleased, for the most part, with the stage selection. Let's face it: it's HUGE!! 41 stages, a huge selection of new stages and a bunch of old favorites from Melee. That being said, I think they should have included some Smash 64 stages (Hyrule Castle and Saffron City, anyone?). Still, a great selection overall. Rating the stages (and characters) I will use a scale of common terminology from the interwebs: from EPIC WIN to UBER FAIL. I'd have to give the stages an EPIC WIN. Great stuff here, plus you can design your own.

Now, the part everyone wants to hear about: the fighters. There is uproar and anarchy in the streets over the "clones". Let me break it down for you:

Ness. No one expected Ness to return. I didn't. Even though he's back, he's technically not a clone. Yes, he's an unlockable character, but if anyone is the clone it's Lucas. Ness came first, therefore he can't be a clone. Stop complaining and deal with it. Technically, this time around there are no clones in the traditional sense. They are semi-clones. Cloned character's standard attacks are completely different, and special attacks have different properties. Lucas is basically Ness for the common man. Not many used Ness, and he's still plays the same, but Lucas is fairly easier to use.

Ganondorf is 95% more badass this time around, but unfortunately still a semi-clone. His special attacks have changed slightly to try and further himself from Captain Falcon. His attacks seem cooler this time around and his final smash is awesome (TP Ganon). I was both disappointed and relieved at the same time when I found out Ganondorf was still a clone. I was hoping he'd have new moves but, at the same time, I was relieved because I was kind of sad that my good 'ol Ganon would be different. Well, he's both. And I don't mind.

R.O.B. was a big WTF character that no one expected, but he actually looks like a rather good character. I'll go more in depth about him in later updates, but for now just know that he does not suck.

Marth is back and his attacks are slightly altered. For the better, as far as I know. He now stabs forward for his standard 'B' attack. He also has the most powerful final smash of anyone, known as the 'fatal strike'.

Luigi's back and hes been cheated out of his vacuum. He does, however, win the craziest final smash award. He goes on some kind of crazy shroom drug trip. It's awesome. You've just got to see it for yourself. But now is not the time. A later update.

Lucario is a semi-replacement for Mewtwo. He has similar attacks, but is different enough to be his own man. He actually looks more accessible and easier to play than Mewtwo was. He's got what I call a "final flash" as a final smash attack.

The bacon returns! Mr. Game and Watch is back! He seems more or less the same. G&W turns into a giant octopus as a final smash.

The most uproar has been caused by Falco and Wolf. While both "clones" of Fox, they actually have fairly different play styles. As I said before, they all have different standard attacks, but each one has varied special attacks (except, of course, when it come to the final smash- LANDMASTER!). Falco now has super badass twin guns. His reflector is also thrown now instead of activated on his person. He may also be slightly faster. Wolf, on the other hand, is more of a power character. His gun has very short range, but is significantly stronger. His up special is not fiery, and his side move sends him up at a 20 degree angle. People need to stop complaining and deal with it.

Then there is "Toon Link". Link from the Wind Waker. His attacks are the same as Link's old attacks and he has the exact same final smash as Link does. Also, for some odd reason, he's not cell shaded. WTF!? This seems to be the most unnecessary character to me.

Just for the record, Captain Falcon is back and for his final smash he runs over everyone in his racer.

So, what do I think? I'm not disappointed. People complaining about it bothers me. You don't have to use clone characters if you don't have to, and when you think about it, there are a lot of great new fighters. I mean, come on! Snake, Sonic, Meta Knight, Pit, Diddy Kong? Awesome. The thing that baffles me is the unlockables. If it was me, I would have started out with just the basic old roster with no new fighters. You'd have to unlock almost everybody. I'd probably have Mario, DK, Link, Samus, Kirby, Fox, Picachu, and Yoshi to start off. I think it would be a lot more interesting that way. There's not that many unlockable characters to begin with. Starting with the same amount of characters as the entire roster from the last game seems ridiculous to me. Overall, though, I think it's a pretty good selection with plenty of new fighters. People need to stop complaining about it. After everyone gets the game, no one will care any more. Five years from now, no one will care. Everyone should just have fun with it because, frankly, this game is going to be incredible regardless of how many clones there are. I give the roster a WIN.

Smash Bros. Brawl Rant

Nintendo, I understand you want to make the best possible product- and you usually do- but in this case, things just don't add up. Nintendo has a long history of delaying games. Their classic excuse is that they want "to make the best product possible". That's all fine and good, and I'd rather wait for a masterpiece than play crap, but I just can't believe them this time. The reason? The game is obviously finished. I don't just think it's finished, I know it's finished. If it's not, then I guess Japanese gaming magazine Famitsu used their voodoo magic to travel to the future to obtain a copy of the game which they could review. There, my friends, lies the proof. The game has already been finished and reviewed in Japan (and given a perfect score I might add), which means the week delay was most certainly not for development. A week is nothing in the cycle of game development. If the game was not finished by now, a week delay is not going to get the job done. That means that the delay was made for some other reason. It's most likely a marketing or production thing. They either want to milk sales by upping the hype-machine, or they simply want to print more copies. That's also okay with me. I would have settled for a week delay- but a month? That's just a big WTF in my book. Really, I don't understand it. I can't take that long to translate the damn thing, can it? In any case, all we really have to do is wait for the Japanese release. Once that finally releases, we can be certain there will be no further delays. Not only that, but finally the floodgates will open and all will be revealed. It's been a long wait, but the greatest game of all time (no, I am not exaggerating) is almost upon us. Here's hoping we'll have only two weeks to wait (and about seven to own the game ourselves)!

Screw Nintendo handhelds

I remember when i got my first gameboy. It was a turqoise gameboy color and my grandma had gotten it for me for Christmas. Then later when the game boy advance came out i got it to. On both these systems my first two games where pokemon blue and yellow (for gameboy color); silver and crystal (for gameboy advanced)

Then i got pissed

I realized than in order to play my beloved pokemon games i would have to upgrade my gameboy almost every year! At least gaming consles last for about four years, but handhelds your lucky if they last half a year! And then once they move on to the newest gameboy ur stuck with playing my little horny, strawberry shortcakes fruitylicious party games, and sluty 10 year old bratz games where puberiscent pre-teens attpempt to get guys attentions by showing off their flat undeveloped bodies making them likely targets for child molesters and rapist (oh boy!).

However the real reason i came here was to praise what might what might be the greatest download in the histroy of the internet.

ROMS

ROMS (Read-Only Memory programs) are free downloadable gba games that have been made available for the computer. I garuntee you that you can find any game that was ever made on a gba online and download it. However these ROMS will only work with a gba program which really isn't a problem since there are so many of them . The one i recomend is http://vba.ngemu.com/.

Also need a site for ROMS? http://gba-rom-news.org/

Support ROMS!

Why do the good ones always die young!?

Why is it that they always pull the good shows off the air before their time? What shows do you ask? Well, pretty much the animated shows that I watch. One of the worst cases I can think of is Samurai Jack. That was one of the best shows I've ever seen. They pulled it off the air in it's fourth season just before they aired the final four episodes. Luckily, Cartoon Network was feeling generous and finally showed the final four in s special block on Toonami. Of course, these episodes did not, in any way, end the series. I mean, the show just got an Emmy; and the next week they cancel it! And so, we'll never know If Jack gets to the past to defeat Aku. My only wish is that they produce a direct-to-DVD conclusion. Not long, just 60-90 minutes. That would make me eternally happy, and the series could rest in peace.

Another I can think of is Megas XLR, one of the funniest shows ever. Now, I don't know if this show was cancelled or just pulled of for a really, really, long time. Whatever the case, it's not being aired and I want to know what happens. Will the Glorft ever be defeated? Will Megas ever be brought back to the future? We may never know.

Teen Titans recently ended when the last episode aired Monday the 16th. While it was kind of a concluding episode, it still sucked. In fact, it raised more questions than it answered. Sure Terra is back, but how did she get there and why doesn't she remember (or want to remember) her past? What's up with Red X? Who is he? And who the hell is Slade!!?? They never answered that question. If you ask me, they ended the series too soon. They need to answer the remaining questions before this one can be put to rest.

Here's another show: Invader Zim. Why cancel Invader Zim? Everybody loved that show! Even though we'll never find out if Zim takes over the world, we can reasonably guess he never did because, well, he's an idiot. Still, it was an incredibly popular show. I think it would have lasted better on another network.

Let's all take a moment to mourn this next one. Fururama was one of the greats. In my opinion, it was much better than its older brother The Simpsons. I know I'm not the only one that thinks this way. It may not have any particular way to end, but this show still deserves to be picked back up because it was awesome. I'd love if it were picked up by Adult Swim with new episodes on Sunday nights.

Even though Family Guy was brought back after it was cancelled, it still makes me mad. Fox cancels the show then says "Oops! Those DVD sales are through the roof and so are the ratings of the reruns! We'd better get it back before someone else does." If I were Seth McFarland, I would have declined and gone to Cartoon Network. I'd be mad as hell for its cancellation in the first place. I'm sure it would have been picked up on Adult Swim. Then we could enjoy some new Futurama and Family Guy every Sunday night on CN. That would have said "In your face Fox!"

speaking being pulled off early, I hate it when they pull off a good anime right in the middle when you know it's not done. What ever happened to Ruronni Kenshin? That was a good show. What ever happened to Yu Yu hacksaws? It got right to the final battle, then they pulled it off and it never returned. And what ever happend to Justice League Unlimited and Dave the Barbarian? That's something that really steams my broccoli! I really got to stop watching so many animated shows...

Oh, and why are shows like Stacked still on the air when such good shows get pulled off?

The Evils of My Space

I gonna give it to you straight: My Space needs to die. My Space is evil. That's all there is to it. Technically, My Space is owned by Fox. Fox is also evil. People need to start boycotting My Space and Fox. Come on people, will it kill you to watch Family Guy at ten on Adult Swim instead of nine on Fox? Seriously, My Space should die. Everyone thinks their so cool with their My Space. Problem is, everybody has one. Therefore, the only truly cool people are the one's without a My Space.

Let me say that I fully support Google and its plans for world conquest. In fact, support Google right now by getting a free blog: http://blogspot.com. Oh, and drop by my My Space if you wish: http://www.myspace.com/26207015 (yes, I have one), and let everyone know how EVIL it is!!

Agree? Disagree? Drop some comments in the comments box and let me know. Actually, you know what? If you disagree just leave right now.