The Xbox One Makes Me Want to Give Up on Video Games

I've been trying to express my feelings on the Xbox One for quite some time, and I've gone through maybe three or four different iterations. None of them felt right. My goal was not to sound like a whiny bitch, but you know what? Fuck that. I'm going to be a whiny bitch because that's what the Xbox One deserves. See, the Xbox One is a piece of shit. It's the worst console I've ever owned, and probably the worst ever made. Worse than the 3DO or the Virtual Boy or even the Gizmondo, which I'm pretty sure was a scam. Every time I try to play the Xbox One I'm filled with rage followed by a profound sadness. It's almost like the five stages of grief, where I start out in disbelief that a video game system can be so much of a hassle, then I'm pleading with the forces that be to make the damn thing work how I want it to, then I finally accept that it just sucks and give up. I used to own an Xbox and an Xbox 360. I loved them! I want to love the Xbox One too, but I just can’t.

Nintendo 3DS: Worth Buying?

The Nintendo 3DS: the point of a lot of discussion and controversy this last year. It had a rocky start and some thought it would never make it. The terrible launch lineup, no eShop, and $250 price made it a tough sell in early 2011. Then came word that this year would bring Zelda, Mario, Mario Kart, Star Fox and Kid Icarus along with the launch of the eShop. Unfortunately, two of those were remakes, two more wouldn't be out until the year's end, and Kid Icarus would be pushed to a release almost a year after the system's launch. The eShop didn't have much going for it early on either, with no original games and only Super Mario Land worth buying. No one expected what would happen next. The surprise $80 price cut was like cutting the weight off a balloon. Sales jumped 260% and by the end of the year and the system ended up selling over 4 million units in the US alone in 2011. Nintendo didn't stop there with the craziness. They threw in 20 free games for early adopters, and soon announced the circle pad pro which adds a second c-pad. It's been one crazy first year for the machine.

If you didn't pick one up at launch, after the price cut, or for the holidays, you may be asking yourself if it's worth getting considering the PSVita is right around the corner (though it's having similar launch troubles in Japan). Read on to (hopefully) reach a verdict.

Hori Classic Controller Review

*NOTE* I have repurposed this review from a now defunct website. If it looks familiar, you're not crazy.

I don't buy a lot of third party accessories for my gaming systems. Though cheaper, it's usually a better investment to go with the first party stuff because it's more likely to last. Regardless, there were a lot of choices back when controllers were wired. Nowadays, Microsoft has a monopoly on wireless controllers and Sony doesn't allow for Bluetooth compatible ones, meaning you need a USB dongle. Nintendo doesn't give a crap, which is why I've only bought third party stuff for Nintendo systems this generation. What I buy, mostly, are controllers. I had a few PS2, Xbox, and GameCube controllers back in the day that weren't very solid. I haven't bought a third-party controller since. Well, until recently.

Crapload of posts pt. 2

I will now kill four birds with one stone and review four things in one post.

Fist up, National Treasure: Book of Secrets.

I didn't even want to see this movie, but I did. It turned out to be surprisingly good (and long). It was suspenseful, had a good plot, was action packed, and even pretty funny at times. I don't really remember the first one too well, but you don't need to to enjoy this movie. I though the premise itself was actually pretty stupid: Ben Gates goes on a crazy treasure hunt/adventure to prove his great grandfather did not orchestrate the assassination of president Lincoln. What I found, however, was a very engrossing movie. I now fully understand why it has been number one for several weeks straight. Really good. See now!

Next is the miniseries Tin Man.

I missed Tin Man when it originally aired back in early December, but I always wanted to see it. Well, folks, I finally did, and I am pleased. Tim Man is an excellent take on the classic Wizard of OZ story. Actually, it's really only loosely based on OZ. The main plot completely diverges from the original for the most part. All the classic characters are represented in some way or another. The main character is DG (which would stand for Dorothy Gale) who gets swept away in a tornado to The O.Z. (Outer Zone). On her journey she meets Glitch, a man who has literally had his brain removed, Cain, a heartless ex-cop (aka. Tin Man), Rah, a cowardly mind-reading beast-man, Toto, a man who can shape shift into a dog, and the Magic Man (the Wizard of OZ). In fact, Tin Man is somewhat of a sequel to The Wizard of OZ (you'll see why at the end). I'd really rather not spoil the excellent plot for you, so go see it for yourself. Really, is great! Check it out on alluc (in the sidebar).

Walk Hard

It's a great parody on the music industry. Very funny and clever. Unfortunately, it's also been playing for quite some time, so you might want to check this one out when the DVD is released. It's also not for everyone, but if you're into the Balls of Fury/ Talladega Nights kind of stuff, you're in for a treat. Great job by Sean C. Riley. This is the first movie I can think of where he's in the main role. Also full of current and prior SNL cast members.

Nyco Wii classic controller grip

If you're like most people, the Wii classic controller is too small and uncomfortable for you. This wonderful piece of plastic attaches to the controller adding grips on either side to make it easier for your hands to grip as well as an attachment for the Wiimote on the back. It make the controller far more comfortable to use, gets rid of the dangling remote, and adds bulk (it weighs about as much as an Xbox controler). It's a great buy but you might want to avoid it for the retail price of $20. I, however, picked it up for $5 at Circuit City.

PSP ~ Intec screen protector Vs. Pelican screen protector

Let's face it. The PSP has a beautiful screen, but it scratches way too easily. You'll need a way to protect it. So I'm here to set the record straight. Which screen protector is better?

The first protector I got was the one by Intec. I opened it up to put it on and realized something: there was a little tab stuck to it to remove the screen protector from the backing. Problem was, that the tab was stuck to the protector itself. I had to carefully pull the protector off of the backing by myself, and then remove the tab from the protector, which left glue residue on it. Great, already ruined. But it gets worse! When I put the thing on, there were air bubbles everywhere! I tried to smooth them out with the included "Intec squeegee" but all that did was scratch the screen protector. Fed up, I pulled it off. Only to find that the very thing that was trying to protect the screen had scratched it! I then threw it out.
BOTTOM LINE: The Intec screen protector is a piece of crap! So was the cleaning cloth it came with!

Next, I tried the Pelican screen protector. This time the tab was on the backing and it peeled off easily. I aligned the screen protector with the corner of the screen and let go. It fell right into place... WITH NO AIR BUBBLES!! I didn't even need to use the the included smoothing thingy! What a pleasant surprise! I booted up the system to find out how the picture looked. Unlike the Intec one it was pretty clear and lost little sharpness. It even hid the scratch from the Intec screen protector! Even the cloth was nice!
BOTTOM LINE: Get this one! It's sooo much better! Plus it's anti-glare, has a three year warranty, and comes with a console protection guarantee which states: If the screen protector damages your system through normal use, Pelican will repair or replace your system at no charge.